From the Rev

Dear Friends,

One of the reasons I know you read these weekly emails is because you know I’m always right. That what I say is absolutely true. That I alone have the answer, the solution to the subject at hand. That you know you would be wasting your time telling me what you think.

Yeah, right!! Pretty snobbish first paragraph. I hope I’m never really that way, and if I ever am I hope someone will give me a swift kick and bring me back to reality.

Watching the Presidential debates recently has not been the most pleasant or uplifting experience. They seem to be like wrestling matches between people with oversized egos, egged on by raucous crowds who want red meat, and the media that covets every, single, sound bite and plays it over and over and over and over again! I guess it’s democracy in action but too often it feels so mean-spirited, empty of any real substance or humility, filled with inflated egos that could fill up a hot air balloon: “No one else has the answers to all our pressing problems but me. My way is the only way and my party is the only true American party.”

Unfortunately, it’s not just in Presidential debates where we see this. Facebook, Twitter and the Internet are full of opinions… a constant barrage of partisanship that cuts across all political and social lines. Everyone is so sure that their opinion is the only right one. We see it in sports events with athletes preening and dancing after a play. We saw it a couple of weeks ago watching the disgusting smirk and smile of a young, former drug company executive who raised the price of a lifesaving drug by 5000 percent, as he testified before Congress and later sent out a tweet calling the committee a bunch of “imbeciles”. We even see it in religion: “We’re the only ones getting into heaven. God loves us best.” As one infamous bumper sticker proclaims: “The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it.”

Of course no one finally has a lock on the truth…no one religion, no one party, no one philosophy. (Sure, God may, but I don’t think God is quick or trusting to deliver that truth to a mere mortal.) Can we just say the world is a complicate place? It always has been and always will be. We face huge challenges. I believe the best solutions only come through dialogue, thoughtfulness and compromise….you know, where you actually sit down and listen to what the other person may have to say; where you consider that your ‘opponent’ might teach you something; that the other may know something you do not.

How does this happen? It begins by opening our ears and shutting our mouth.

In a recent blog, Frederick Buechner shares his definition of “Snobs”:

“Snobs are people who look down on other people, but that does not justify our looking down on them. Who can say what dark fears of being inferior lurk behind their superior airs or what they suffer in private for the slights they dish out in public? Don’t look down on them for looking down on us. Look at them, instead, as friends we don’t know yet and who don’t yet know what they are missing in not knowing us.”

Have a wonderful week!

You are loved,

Wayne

Dear Friends,

Several weeks ago in one of our church services, I introduced as one of our new members a young woman, now in her early thirties, whom I baptized when she was a baby and I was a new preacher at my church in Palm Harbor. Next month I will have the privilege of baptizing her baby. Talk about making me feel old! But also making me feel so good about the “ connectedness” of life. Here we were meeting again some thirty years later.

Ironically, on that same afternoon I received a call from a young woman who was just a six-year-old child when I was serving in that same Palm Harbor church. Although I had not seen her for thirty years, she connected with me by Google to tell me that her father was dying and he wanted her to try to contact me to see if I could officiate at his service. She told me, through tears, how much my ministry had meant to her family when her mother died at the age of 33; how I helped navigate them through that difficult time; and how I was there a few years later to officiate when her father married again. She asked if I remembered those times.

Oh yes, how well I remembered my deep friendship with her father. But it was not what I had done for him but what he had done for me! I was going through a divorce at the time and he was there for me, helping me navigate through that difficult time in my life. As I spoke with his daughter, sitting in my car in the parking lot at Fresh Market, tears flowed freely as I remembered the absolutely joyous times and the absolutely horrible times together with my friend.

I lost touch with my friend as the years passed by, but as the memories poured back it felt like it was just yesterday when we were sitting at his dining room table laughing and/or crying. I regret that we did not stay in touch. Life is like that, isn’t it? We meet people who make a difference in our lives, thinking we’ll always be close, and then life gets in the way, we go our separate ways, and move on. I don’t think we ever truly forget those people. How could we? We can beat ourselves up, especially when it comes to the end as it has with my friend, or we can thank God for the times we did have together and cherish them.

I thank God for my friend Alan. If he had not been stalwart with me through that difficult time in my life, who knows where I would be today? I’ve lived long enough to know that all things change eventually. People come in and then go out our lives. Kids grow up and go away to school. Jobs end. Families come together and families fall apart. What we depend upon today, or count on as a given, the status quo: it shifts. The familiar departs and it is hard. Loss is hard. We may prepare for it, steel our hearts for it, even expect it and yet, it still hurts.

Perhaps what it means to be really alive is to somehow figure out how to accept loss as a natural part of what it is to be human. Yes, I believe that we are children of God, made with a bit of the eternal within us that I believe lasts forever. Yet we are also contained within these mortal, fragile containers. We live in world with a multitude of powers and people and events that are far beyond our control. Loss just happens.

Please understand I’m not saying that all this loss stuff is easy to embrace and I’m not suggesting a simplistic theology of “when God closes one door God opens another door!” Not at all. Loss stinks, it hurts and it’s scary. Sure, loss may teach us a thing or two and maybe even open up some new opportunities in life…but it is often a heartbreaking instructor.

There are times when I wish everything just stayed status quo and that life was more dependable: people not changing or leaving, work not changing, everything staying the same. But is this really how we want to live in this wonderful, dynamic world of ours? Surely not!

As I look out my office window on this cold February day in Tallahassee, I see a bare redbud tree and several bare crepe myrtle’s. There is an odd beauty to their bareness and I know in another month or so those trees will begin to blossom more beautiful than ever. All creation witnesses to the miracle of loss and rebirth, death and resurrection, endings and beginnings.

There is always the risk that things will end but I firmly believe that if we courageously give our hearts to friends and family and God, to places and people, to jobs and causes…indeed, if we dare to love…then the risk of “endings” will be worth it. No matter how hard we try we can’t make the various losses of life go away. What we can do is to accept it and then love our best and try our best and live out our best lives in the moments we have right now.

Sure, I may lose but I’m willing to take that risk. How about you?

I am so looking forward to holding in my arms and baptizing the child of the mother I baptized so long ago!

And life goes on…

You are loved,

Wayne

Dear Friends,

Ever since I announced my upcoming retirement I have received many wonderful notes of love and concern…and lots of advice too. I have yet to hear anyone say “Don’t do it, you will hate retirement!” A friend who retired two years ago wrote: “Two years into it and past the honeymoon stage of retirement, I’m still loving every minute of it! Every day brings new possibilities. I don’t necessarily need excitement, just newness. My advice is to try something new every day.”

Although part of my decision to retire is because of some personal health issues that I will be dealing with, the more the reality of retirement sets in the more I find myself beginning to picture life ahead. There are so many things I enjoy doing, and retirement is by definition the perfect opportunity to pursue my interests and feed my passions. Just this week I started making a list of words that retirement will allow me to do, such as:

Relax, Refresh, Rejuvenate, Reflect, Reactivate, Reconnect, Reacquaint, Reunite, Reassess, Rearrange, Reclaim, Rededicate, Reboot, Reinvent….

Where to begin? I feel like a kid in a candy shop with so many options that it is almost overwhelming – but in a good way. Since I am in control of my days, I plan to revel in the freedom to try a little of this and taste some of that, ever sampling and experimenting with new things. As I think about what excites me most about beginning this next chapter of life, here are a few things I’m looking forward to:

First, I’m looking forward to spending more time with Beth. We have been together for over 28 years, and during that time have become best friends. The demands of ministry have sometimes come between us, but only for a moment. We find strength and love and fun in the time we spend together. Now we will have more quality time to share. I look forward to traveling and exploring and sharing time focused exclusively on us. My wife deserves to be spoiled, and I look forward to putting to good use my free time as a retiree doing just that.

Second, I’m looking forward to being off the clock. After a career spent with every minute of every day tightly scheduled and carefully planned, I’m going to appreciate the virtues of a blank calendar. I dreamily imagine starting my day with nothing that I must do. It is invigorating to realize I won’t have to worry about being late to the next engagement, but rather I will be free to savor the moment. The only clock I will have to adhere to is the one I manage. No more deadlines, no rules or regulations. I’ll be off the clock, and how sweet it will be!

Third, I’m looking forward to nurturing the creativity within me. Photography has always been a hobby and I can’t wait to develop this creative expression, perhaps even assisting our daughter, Brittany, in her thriving photography business. I love writing. Sermons and blogs like this ‘from the rev’ have been excellent vehicles to put into words my thoughts and feelings. I won’t be writing sermons or ‘from the rev’ so I’ll have to find other avenues of writing. The possibility that some people might enjoy and even benefit from my efforts is pretty cool. When I was a kid, I took a few years of piano lessons. As is often the case, I did little to sustain my skills. But now that I’ll have the time, maybe I’ll sidle up to the piano and learn a few tunes that others will recognize. Most people have a creative side that sometimes gets smothered during a demanding career. I’m hoping retirement will be the perfect time to rejuvenate my artistic side and express myself in ways that are rewarding

And last, (at least for now), I’m looking forward to having the freedom to choose. How Beth and I spend our retired days will be entirely up to us. It is hard to fathom this incredible freedom of choice. I imagine there will be days when we will be high-energy and want to get out there and rock the world. On the other hand, there may be days when we will be happy just having a leisurely breakfast on the back porch watching a new day dawn. What we choose to do will solely be up to us and not dictated by others. We will be free to change our minds as often as we like. That freedom of choice is something we plan to savor.

Frederick Buechner put it like this: “If retirees just learn to keep their eyes open, the chances are they will find themselves more involved, fulfilled, challenged, and nourished than all the years they spent with their noses to the grindstone. And enjoying themselves more too.”

So those are some of the things I’m looking forward to in retirement.

But that’s five months from now! I plan to savor this day, this moment for THIS is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in THIS day!

You are loved,

Wayne

Dear Friends,

Tomorrow it begins…the countdown that will take us from 2015 to 2016.  We have lived one full year or 12 months or 52 weeks or 365 days or 8,760 hours or 525,600minutes or 31,536,000 seconds.  We are one year older.  If you are young, you’ve grown an inch or two in height and maybe added a shoe size.  If you are on the older side of life, like me, you’ve gotten grayer or maybe slowed down a bit.  It’s an amazing trip, this journey of life.  The days can’t be stopped or frozen.  Time moves on and there’s no turning back the clock.

So how has this past year been for you?  It’s a good question to reflect on as we start the new year…taking a moment to look back.  Our inclination in these last days of the year is to make plans or resolutions about all we hope to do or be or accomplish in the next year.  But before we leave 2015 and start making plans for 2016, let me suggest a few things to consider:

What do you need to leave behind before you cross over into 2016?

What do you need to let go of?

What do you need to forget?

What do you need to forgive yourself or others for?

What mistakes that you made in 2015 finally need to be laid to rest?

What are you carrying that is too heavy for your heart or soul or mind?

Are you ready to let it all go?  Are you ready to clean out the clutter of this past year?

There are different ways people have of achieving this kind of ‘house cleaning’.   Christians name our sins, confess and repent, and then receive forgiveness from God.  For our Jewish brothers and sisters, Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, is the day they go to the temple and repent for sin, give it all up to God and find forgiveness.  Buddhists confess their faults to the Buddha in meditation.  Faithful Muslims pray five times daily and in this act bring their whole selves to Allah.  I have a friend who, on the last day of the year, makes a list of things he needs to let go of from the past year, and then throws it into his fireplace and watches it burn.

In all of these rites a weight is lifted.  A slate is wiped clean.  You get honest with yourself and your God and maybe even another human being. Most important you let it go and in letting it go you are now ready to start again in a new year.  So why not do some spiritual house cleaning over the next couple of days, discard those things that weigh you down, let them go and get on with this wonderful, challenging adventure called life.

I pray that your New Year will be filled with much joy, peace and good health!

You are loved,

Wayne